Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Hobgoblins!

I've been having a lot of fun writing up monster descriptions. Here's what I did for the hobgoblin, modelled after a gym teacher I used to have....

Hobgoblin

Size Large 1.5.
Action 2d6. Body 1d8. AC 12/9. HP 21. Stun 14. PP 8.
Speed: Walk 3.
Attacks 2d8, MP +1, Snap -1:
     Battle Axe, Reach 2, Sharp 1d8+1, Parry -1, Snap -1.
     Morning Star, Reach 2, Sharp 1d8, Snap -1, Parry -1.
     Bullwhip, Reach 6, Impact 1d6, Flexible, Snap -2, Grab.
     Halberd, Reach 4, Sharp 1d12, Snap -3, 2hds.
     Punch, Reach 1, Blunt 1d4+1, 2nd. 
Advantages: Infravision +1d. Hard As Nails +3d.
Inclination: Violent Evil.
Traits: Angry. Brutal. Callous. Optimistic. Thick.
Environment: Plains. Hills. Underground. Mountains. Forest. Urban.
No. Appearing: 1d6.

Rare Subhumanoid. Hobgoblins are of absolutely no relation to goblins. Or at least that is what most goblins would like to have the world to believe, despite the fact that the average hobgoblin markedly resembles a giant somewhat obese goblin with pebbly green skin and more chin than forehead.

Hobgoblins do not share in the goblin's tendency towards sour detachment and snide pessimism. Strangely enough, hobgoblins tend to rank high among the world's natural optimists. Hobgoblin philosophy believes that there is no one who cannot be positively motivated by the crack of a bullwhip across their shoulders. There is no problem which cannot be solved by hacking away at it with a nasty looking chunk of metal. Many would consider this to be a brutally simplistic outlook on life. Hobgoblins often answer such criticism by mounting their critics severed heads on their halberds.

Hobgoblins are also notable for having an incredibly dull sense of touch, which may be key to understanding the inherit brutality of the species. The slice of a knife or the touch of a hot coal merely stings them, so they lack the general sympathy which might otherwise lead them to understand why non-hobgoblins do not enjoy regular beatings. This especially extends to elves who they despise for their extreme delicateness and sensitivity to all things.


The Hobgoblin view on life is quite simple. The world has grown soft and weak and hobgoblins exist to toughen it up, largely by beating it to a pulp, and there is nothing they enjoy more.